Lightening
by Simone Robinson
Summary: "-He knew he shouldn't sound this weak. He knew he should be doing something other than staying collapsed on the floor. He knew he should be helping him, not gripping onto his body like a lost child. He knew he shouldn't give into the darkness. He did.-"


**L** i g h t e n i n g

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><p>It is like writing history with lightning and my only regret is that it is all so terribly true.<br>~**Woodrow Wilson**

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><p>The forest floor was slippery beneath his fingertips. The rain pelted down, plastering his hair to his head. It was cold. Correction, it was freezing.<p>

Wind whipped back his dark hair, the air causing shivers to rack his frame. Despite the conditions, the boy smiled, tilting his heads upwards. Through the canopy of leaves, the lightning flashed in a magnificent array of light.

Unfortunately, the leaves did little to fend of the storm.

More the pity.

A fresh clap of thunder made him jump.

Shaking his head with mute worry, Lee staggered to his feet. It was getting dangerous.

With a last glance at the sky, Lee began his sprint into the village.

He was racing the lightning.

***0***

Kakashi sighed watching as his friend and rival, Maito Gai, started heading his way. Giving another sigh, the ninja slipped his book into his pocket. It was just his luck that he'd get pestered or challenged on his only day off in months. And that it was storming. He pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eye shut as Gai neared, trying to not sound too exasperated when addressing the green-clad shinobi.

"Hello, Gai," he muttered. "What is it this time?"

Gai smiled, though Kakashi noted it was oddly subdued, "Kakashi my eternal rival, I was going to challenge you to a most daring feat but…." He glanced up at the sky

"Right, it's far too stormy for something like that. No one should be out right now. I was just going to head inside myself. " Kakashi babbled, desperate to avoid getting into another challenge. It was getting tedious.

A frown graced Gai's features "True. Uh, anyway, the hokage wanted to see us, something about team roll call."

Kakashi sighed. Paperwork.

He'd have preferred one of Gai's challenges.

Kakashi nodded and began walking, soon joined by Gai.

They said nothing for several moments both ignoring the storm around them. It was nothing they hadn't experienced before.

After a while Gai spoke up, "Kakashi, are all your team members accounted for?"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, "Yep. Naruto and Sakura are visiting Iruka. Said something about discussing tactics." He shook his head, "Very enthusiastic."

"Hm. The joyful enthusiasm in the springtime of youth. It is an amazingly wonderful day when the seeds of-"

"Gai?" The green clad ninja looked at him.

"What about your team?"

"My young charges, Neji and Ten-Ten are both at home. They let at the first sign of coming storm." He sighed dramatically, "There was no convincing them otherwise."

"And Lee?"

Gai didn't look at him, "He wanted to stay on a bit for training after I left."

"…Is he back yet?"

"I don't know." The green clad shinobi's pace was increasing, almost to a run.

"Gai, is-"

Kakashi was cut off by the crashing sound of thunder and blinding light that engulfed him. A tingle ran through Kakashi's arm as he was thrown to the ground.

There was confusion and light.

Kakashi was coughing, hard ground under his limbs.

Loud.

Screaming.

Bright.

The tingled transformed into an excruciating burn and Kakashi jerked his arm back, nursing it to his chest.

Beside him, he heard a choking cry. The kind of sound that mingled into a sob.

Kakashi cringed at the desperate sound. It spoke of far more pain than a mere scream.

The smell of burning flesh reached his nostrils.

He couldn't tell if it was his or…his comrades.

He didn't know who had been with him.

He didn't know if they were still alive.

If he was still alive.

He didn't know.

Oh god.

He stumbled to his feet and towards the sound, his sight still hazy from the blast.

There was a thud as a body hit the ground.

Frustrated, Kakashi ripped off his head band, freeing his sharagin.

A body. Through the smoke there was a body.

No movement.

With hard breaths, he staggered to his fallen comrade, collapsing as he reached his side.

His breath, raspy and shallow, sounded alien to him somehow.

He knew he shouldn't sound this weak. He knew he should be doing something other than staying collapsed on the floor. He knew he should be helping his comrade, not gripping onto his body like a lost child.

He knew he should do a lot of things.

"Kakashi-Sensei?"

Like respond to those voices….

His hair was dripping into his face, his mask half off.

With the last of his energy he hoisted it up.

He knew that was important.

He knew he shouldn't forget.

He knew he shouldn't give into the darkness.

He did.

***0***

Lee-san! Lee-san!"

The young ninja skidded to a halt at the sound of his name.

"Huh?"

He squinted through his fringe, which lay lank and plastered to his head. Frowning, he pushed it aside.

"Lee-san," the voice came through the rain, "are you okay?"

A puzzled expression adorned Lee's face, "Uh, yes…?"

The next moment he felt a figure latch onto his heaving chest, their face buried in his neck.

"Uh…"

Glancing down, Lee felt his face flush at the short pink mass of hair beneath his chin.

"Sakura-chan?"

He put a tentative hand on her back. She didn't move, just clutched tighter to his jumpsuit. It was then Lee felt her shaking.

His eyes widened.

She was crying?

"Sakura-chan?" He urged, a gentle tone to his voice, "What's wrong?"

She sniffed.

It was then that Lee realized that they were standing out in the open, alone in a deserted street. In the middle of a dangerous storm.

"Sakura-chan….we should get to shelter, It will be safer…"

At that statement Sakura let out a soft wail and threw her arms around her comrade's neck.

"What-"

"There was an accident…" He cried, her emerald eyes shining with tears. Lee reached forward and wiped away the ones still shining on her cheeks with a soft brush of his hand. She needed comforting. That much was obvious.

"What happened?" he murmured.

"They were out and, then the lightning struck and… and oh god…"

Her breathing was erratic. Lee held her firmer, looking her in the eyes.

"Slow down." He commanded softly.

She took a deep breath. Lee watched as the rain mingled with fresh tears. His grip tightened reassuringly.

"They didn't want me to come and find you but…but Naruto and I knew and…it wasn't fair if you…" She sniffed, "There was an accident, two Shinobi were struck by lightning…"

Lee felt himself go cold; lightning?

"They….they were hurt bad lee… Naruto-kun and I found them…. They…oh god…Kakashi-sensei, Gai-sensei…they…"

Lee's world seemed to stop at the mention of his Sensei's' name.

He was cold.

The rest of Sakura's words didn't register in his mind.

There was no way….not Gai-sensei…not like this…

"No…" His voice sounded harsh, alien.

"…Lee-san..?" Sakura's soft voice penetrated his haze. He glanced down at her with hurt-filled eyes.

"Where….?" He whispered.

"The medics ward."

Gathering the girl into his arms, Lee set off down the streets, his heart pounding in his chest.

_Gai-sensei…wait for me, don't…please don't be…don't be…gone._

***0***

Coma.

The word echoed around his head. His teacher his sensei… there was a chance he would never wake up.

Naruto stared downcast at the hospital floor, tears blurring his vision.

Lightning. Kakashi-sensei had been taken down by lightning…. Just like that. Maybe if it had been on a mission it would have been easier to accept. They would have been prepared. It was the life of a ninja to loose their loved ones.

But like this- so suddenly.

Naruto clenched his fist.

It wasn't fair.

The blond ninja was brought out of his musings at the sound of the door slamming open. Standing in the doorway was a dripping Lee with an equally soaked Sakura in his arms.

Naruto rose to his feet, watching as Lee put Sakura down on her feet.

Sakura stumbled forward in an unsteady motion, straight into Naruto's waiting arms. He glanced at her in concern. Her hair was matted and plastered to her head, her eyes red-rimmed. This was taking a lot out of her. He wrapped his arms around her in a protective hug.

Naruto's gaze turned to Lee and their eyes locked. Emotions mirrored from the blue to dark orbs.

"Are they…?" Lee's eyes were wide, tension evident in his stance.

Naruto looked down, still cradling Sakura to his chest, "No…."

Lee's legs seemed to turn to jello out of relief and he had to catch himself on the doorpost to stay upright.

"Thank…thank god…" He breathed softly.

Naruto nodded softly, silently staring at the drips Lee was leaving on the floor.

Much like his earlier teardrops.

"How's Ga-" Lee caught himself, "Kakashi-sensei?"

Naruto manages a wan smile at his friend's polite concern, "Kakashi-sensei….is…in a" Naruto let out a choking sound "...in a coma…"

An audible gasp rose from Lee's lips. The green-clad ninja swallowed hard, unable to restrain his concerns any longer…

"And…and Gai-sensei?" He whispered.

"They haven't said yet…. he's stable but…"

***0***

The realization dawned on him slowly as he stared at the tiles between his feet, sinking in gradually, like the smells of cleaning fluids over blood and secretions that had saturated this place over the years. It felt as if he was sleep walking, simply drifting in a dream… a nightmare.

Lee ran forward, the floor hard under his feet. He took no notice.

A heart monitor beeped from down the hall. Each descending beat from that machine feels like it's taking you farther away from me...

Lee swallowed hard.

The door felt rough against his palms as he wrenched it open, Tsunde's shouts falling on deaf ears.

Lee stumble into the room. The sole occupant was stretched out on a bed, starched bandages clearly visible from Lee's position at the door.

He sprinted forward, collapsing at the side of the bed. Both his hands gripped the larger one which hung limp over the bedclothes.

Still.

Lee eyes kept to the floor, his eyes not daring to behold his Sensei's face. The hand which hung limp in his hand was still, not even a reflexive twitch pulsing through his fingers. He felt so lifeless. Lee took a slow breath and rubbed the heels of his hands into his closed eyes, idly wondering if he'd taken more breaths than he deserved today. A soft, rhythmic beeping came from a room down the hall that some doctor had left open, mesmerizing in its repetition, almost hypnotic to his sleep-deprived state.

The beeping monitor sounded closer than ever.

Lee's forehead pressed into the bed sheet, the fabric smelling of antiseptic and cleaning fluids. It smelt wrong.

His grip tightened on his mentor's hand as if it was his only lifeline. His lifeline against the despair that threatened to choke the breath out of him like a snake's coils crushing his lungs.

The Hokage was wrong….there was absolutely no way she was right. Things like this happened to other people, with other circumstances. Not to people like him. Not to Gai.

He stood slowly, shaking such thoughts from his mind. Despite his efforts, his betraying eyes stole a glance at his sensei's features. He couldn't look away.

Gai looked so fragile, the sickly glint of his skin making him look waxen. He was like a flickering candle flame, dancing a leaping, burning bright. Even when we think it's invincible...all it takes is a strong wind to blow it out.

Unwanted tears trickled down Lee's face.

Lee's gaze was focused on his teacher, his mind automatically anticipating the rise and fall of his bandaged chest.

He waited.

Fear flickered across Lee's face in a momentary flair of panic.

There was nothing.

He laid a gentle hand on his sensei's chest. Still waiting.

The steady rise and fall beneath his palm allowed a warm feeling of reassurance to pass through the young ninja's heart.

He wasn't gone. Not yet.

But it was worse.

Lee's eyes clenched shut. His hand slipped off the Jonin's chest, falling limp at his side. A_ll the hopes for the future seem like lies_.

The bitter taste of bile rose in his throat at the memory of the Hokage's words and he had to force it down. In a single moment the full severity of the situation hit the young ninja with head on force.

_Gai-sensei… _Lee's knees hit the ground with a thud_, Gai-sensei…you lied…you can't help me train and become a splendid ninja…Not when you're…_

A sob rose in Lee's throat. His fist hit the floor with a crack.

"Lee…." The Hokage's voice elicits no reaction from him.

Despite the detached reception, she is a trained medic, she is the hokage. Her face is trained to blankness as she recites what she knows, barely realizing that the ninja she's speaking to isn't hearing her.

Lee doesn't move from the spot on the floor.

Tsunade sighs and as she turns to leave the room, her eyes shine with a soft compassion, kept hidden during all her years as a medic.

"I'm sorry…"

Lee doesn't realize he's crying until he hears the soft patter of tears hitting the pressed sheets.

He can't stop the tears that are flowing over his cheeks, and wouldn't even if he could. His head is gently resting on Gai's chest as his body shakes with sobs.

The soft, rhythmic beeping from the other side of bed goes on.

***0***

"I…I wonder how Lee's holding up…"

Naruto's eyes were glued to the battered form of his sensei but he managed a reply. "He'll get through it…"

Sakura looked down, her eyes focused on the tiled floor. Not a spec of dust had attached itself to the white ceramic. It was unnatural. It just felt wrong.

She breathed a soft sigh, "I don't know whose condition is worse…Gai-sensei or Kakashi-sensei…"

Naruto spun around, his eyes piercing through her heart, "Kakashi-sensei could never _wake up_ Sakura! Tell me how _that_ is better?"

Sakura leaped to her feet, her face inches from the blond before her, "Stop being so _selfish_ Naruto!" She seized his collar in her fist, "Gai-sensei is a _taijutsu_ user! Do you have _any_ idea how-?"

She cut herself off with a frightening suddenness, her grip on his collar going limp.

It was on pure reflex that Naruto caught her collapsing form, and with sheer concern that he held her trembling figure to his chest.

_She's crying_. Naruto's brain supplied.

"…Sakura-chan…" he murmured, shame lacing his tone, "I…I don't know what…why I…. I'm sorry..." he trailed off, words caught in his throat.

He sensed more than felt the weak nod against his chest heavily accompanied by the stressed sobs that wracked her form.

He gently stroked her hair, gently rocked her frame, firmly held her fist which gripped his shirt; simply waiting as her sobs subsided.

"They'll get through this" He finally whispered. His grip on her hand tightening.

Her face rose to stare at him, tear streaked and red, her hair hanging in matted tendrils around her head. She was kneeling now, having slipped off the blond ninja's lap.

"...he's paralyzed Naruto….completely…." fresh tears streamed down her cheeks, "…how…how can _anything ever_ be alright?"

Naruto looked at the girl below him, his fingers lacing with her small hand.

He tightened his grip.

"They will be Sakura…." He whispered, "…Believe it…"

***0***

It felt like he was looking through a haze. It was timeless, he was weightless. Voices were floating in and out of his consciousness. The blackness around his was so thick it seemed tangible and solid. It felt like he could simply let go and fall of the precipice and into the velvet sky. And hang there, safe, warm and free of everything.

The voices were getting nearer, though it now seemed to him that there was only one voice.

He should know that voice.

He should know a lot of things.

His life seemed to be separated into two parts. Before the accident and after the accident.

But what accident?

And who had he been with…

It was all a complete blank which he had no idea of how to start filling in. A niggling voice told him that that was often the case. But he ignored it.

Before the accident, he remembered flashes, memories of his younger children, memories of fighting, of a man with silvery hair.

He felt that man was important somehow.

Something about the accident.

He was too tired to remember.

And then it was his life after the accident, Filled with intense pain, with voices, flashes and darkness. And numbness.

It could have been years, months, weeks days or hours.

And there was always the beeping, the constant beeping and a pressure on his hand.

And he knew that he should do something. Wake up and move.

But the numbness was still there. The numbness in his limbs which seemed detached. They didn't feel like his… he could feel, he felt the way his nerves were on fire, screaming in agony. No movement could sooth them.

If he was able to move.

He chalked it up to the darkness. That feathery, inky blackness. The blackness that he wished more than anything to fall into.

But the voice held him back. And the incessant beeping.

The weightless haze, the painless haze that had fallen upon him seemed to be lifting. And he felt heavy, like someone was pouring weight into his body and dragging him down. And then the precipice that he had been so furiously clinging to gave way. And he was falling and the blackness was tangible and it was soft, gentle and he shut his eyes.

…

The air around him was cold. The light was red under his hooded eyelids. He scrunched them shut. The throbbing in his head intensified with each second.

God, what hit him?

The sheets were soft beneath his body and the antiseptic smell of cleaning products reached his nose. He nearly choked, his eyes flying open in disgust. It was only for an instant though, as the light, glaring and bright sent daggers of pain into his eyes.

With a stifled gasp, he forced his eyes shut, attempting to sooth the pain.

The light seemed to dim behind his eyelids, as did the pain.

The heart monitor beeped.

In the dark of his mind, Gai fought furiously to remember what had led up to this point. The blank void of his mind did nothing to sooth his emotions.

It was at that moment that his nerves registered the limp touch of another person. A lightweight was present on his chest, the sounds of deep breathing filling the room. Two smaller hands were clasped around his, tight even in the apparent slumber.

Breathing hard, he squinted through his lids, wincing at the flairs of pain. Gradually though, his sense of sight returned.

Just as gradually, the clouded recesses of his mind seemed to clear.

His gaze slipped to the figure resting on his chest, taking in the raven hair and Lilith form clad in green.

His eyes widened ever so slightly at the sight of his pupil.

_The voices were getting nearer, though it now seemed to him that there was only one voice. He should know that voice._

….Lee.

A quick glance around the room, with the heart monitors and white pressed linen, told him what he needed to know.

A soft look came to his eyes.

The boy resting on him seemed exhausted, his sleep sound and deep. Guilt chose that moment to flair in Gai's heart. _He's here because of me…_

He had not attempted any movement before that point due to the ach in his muscles but it seemed necessary to wake his student.

Gai willed his fingers to move, to grip lee's hands and wake his student. He felt it was his duty to alleviate the boy's worry.

Nothing happened.

His brows furrowed together and he stared at his hand, limp in lee's, willing it to move.

Nothing.

He swallowed hard, trying to ignore the pounding of his heart. He glanced at his hand again, held between the hands of his student. Lee's hands looked so fragile, as if a single tug would have them crumbling to the floor.

Gai shook the ideas out of his head. Lee was strong, he had proved this to Gai many times.

The older ninja swallowed hard, trying to alleviate the sandpaper feeling which scraped at the side of his throat.

"…Lee?" Hs voice sounded harsh and raspy. Unfamiliar.

The young ninja let out a soft grunt, shifting against the bandages on Gai's chest.

The jonin winced and a choked hiss of pain escaped his lips but he could do nothing to speed his student up.

Thankfully, the noise from his sensei seemed to do the trick. Le was scrambling up in mere seconds.

Joyous exclamations mingled with apologies as the young ninja stood beside the bed.

Gai stared, dumfounded, at the bright eyed expression on his student's face. It was the same that appeared when young child had been told that chrisms had come early, yet also that of a child whose dream had just been crushed.

Gai stared into Lee's dark orbs which glistened with unshed tears.

"Lee…" Gai repeated in a whisper.

His student stared at him, his hands twitching into fists. Then before Gai could register what was going on, Lee had collapsed at the side of the bed, kneeling down and taking his sensei's hand in his. And Lee couldn't seem to stop the tears that are flowing over his cheeks. His head was gently resting on Gai's chest once again as his body trembled with sobs.

'Lee…."

"I….I'm sorry sensei…." he whispered between sobs.

"Lee...What's wrong?"

The soft, rhythmic beeping from the heart monitor was Gai's only answer.

***0***

The fluorescent lights which constantly shined on the hospital occupants were finally off for the night. The room was in shadow, not even a sliver of moonlight visible through the clouds. The only sound which occupied the room was the slow, deep breathing of one in a slumber.

A figure lay in the bed, he didn't move, didn't stir.

Gai's eyes were vacant.

His body was still.

Of course, he had been told that that would be the case for eternity. The rest of his life. And it felt like a very long time. It felt as if the essence of his life had just been stolen from him.

Torn from in front of his eyes. What had once been so full of promise, was now left destroyed.

Left in rags and tatters.

Gai swallowed hard.

Beside him, lee dozed in a chair.

Not that Gai could blame him. It was growing late.

Kakashi was in a coma. The rest of his team had not arrived at his bed side. Lee slept. The ach in his body had gone numb and there was nothing to distract him from his thoughts and from the painful truth.

When even your demons abandoned you. What was the point in life?

Gai shut his eyes tightly, fighting the hitch in his breath.

_He was strong and he would get through this with belief and hope…_

A single tear spilled over, snaking down his cheek.

His own words tasted bitter in his mouth and he fought back the nausea which rose in his throat. The IV in his arm continued pumping medication into him. It was suppose to relieve his pain, it was suppose to make him feel better.

Drowsiness washed over the man. It promised respite. It promised bliss.

His eyes dropped shut.

It felt like he was looking through a haze. It was timeless, he was weightless. The blackness around him was so thick it seemed tangible and solid. It felt like he could simply let go and fall of the precipice and into the velvet sky. And hang there, safe, warm and free of everything.

He'd felt this before…it was comfortable and soft…

A sudden flash of light blinded his vision.

There was confusion and light.

Loud.

Screaming.

Bright.

The screaming was an awful sound, Incoherent shouts devoid of humanity.

The sounds, unwillingly torn from lips, mangled and unintelligible

He hit the ground, a helpless sob tearing itself from his throat. The sickly smell of burning flesh, the numb jolts reverting through his spine.

The sound of footsteps, hands gripping him. Voices, blurred shapes, a heavy weight on his chest. The devoid blackness.. Falling of the precipice and into the black…

Gai's eyes flew from their shut position, his mouth open in a silent scream.

The pain was still too fresh in the recesses of his mind and the numbness too evident in his body.

His breathing was increasing rapidly, his eyes now squeezed shut.

He swallowed hard, trying to stop the hitches in his breath. Trying to ignore the burning in is throat and prickling behind his eyes.

Trying to pretend that everything would be okay.

Trying to pretend that he would one day walk again- move again.

There was a soft noise, something between a sob and a wail…quiet, muffled. It echoed through the silence in the room which until that point had seemed tangible.

It took him a moment to realize the sound had been torn from the recesses of his own throat.

"Gai-sensei?"

Gai's eyes flew open at the sound of his student's voice. He hadn't heard him get up.

"Gai-sensei, are you okay?" Lee's voice had an edge to it that Gai couldn't quite place; maybe the closest relation was fear. Lee was not quite looking at him, his side profile to his sensei.

Embarrassment and hurt filled the taijutsu master as he realized that his student couldn't even look at him.

"You don't look well," Lee continued, even though his gaze was directed at the floor "I am going to go find the nurse."

Gai's breath left him at the sight of his student's retreating back.

"Lee…."

His voice was just a breath, a rough plea mingled with the monitor's increased beeping.

Lee froze.

"…Don't leave…"

This time he was not sure even he had heard his own quiet plea. His pride was shattering, his voice cracking. He didn't need his student to see him in this condition. But he did not think he could bear to be on his own.

He was selfish.

But he hadn't cried yet.

For a moment, Lee showed no sign of moving. Then he turned, and for the first time since he woke, stared right into the eyes of his sensei.

They were red rimmed and glistening, the desperation in them so deep that Lee was moved almost to his knees. This was the man that had practically raised Lee since his graduating from the academy. The one who had supported him through everything, been there when he was the one in hospital. When it was Lee's future as a ninja on the line.

The father figure that Lee had never had, always so strong and optimistic. Reduced to genuine tears. And Lee had wanted to leave him when he needed him most.

And he strode back to the bed, hitting the floor with a soft thud when he was right beside it.

He took his sensei's callused hand in his, feeling the evidence off battle scars running over the flesh.

His free hand he ran idly through the dark trellises of hair which framed the man's face.

Leaning down, he rested his forehead on his heaving chest.

"It's going to….It's not going to be okay." He murmured, "But I'll be there." His grip tightened, "I promise."

A soft sob floated into the air, soon followed by another. And lee held Gai's hand, and stayed, still and silent as his sensei let out his pain, his chest heaving as his body wracked with sobs.

Lee never left.

***0***

"Neji?"

"Hmm?"

Tenten sighed and leaned back against the tree, "Where do you think they are?"

Neji gave a non-comitial grunt, his gaze fixed firmly on the sky.

"I mean, they're never late and now they just disappear for two days…"

"One day."

Ten-Ten sighed, idly twirling the grass blades between her fingers. "Well, not since before the storm anyway. I hope everything's okay."

"Probably doing something idiotic like usual."

Tenten shot him an irritated glance, "I just think we should try and find them or something."

"They'll find there way from wherever soon enough. In the mean time I think we should enjoy the break."

At this, Tenten leaped to her feet, a deep scowl on her face, "Neji, how can you be so…"

After an eternity of seconds, Neji finally looked up at her, "…heartless?" Because, I'm right."

"Urgh…" Tenten clenched her fist, "Why are you such a-" her words were cut short as her sandal hooked on the edge of the tree root. With a strangled shriek, she was falling.

Rough hands closed around her wrists, gentle and calloused at the same time. For a single, insane moment, she imagined that it was Lee catching her, that he was back and safe.

Because normally, Neji would simply let the person fall.

And then she was hit with the feeling of soft hair whipping around her face.

In her decent, she noted that it smelt faintly of fresh pine. Beige fabric billowed around her in that single moment before impact. Her dark eyes caught ones of pale lavender. Neji's mouth was slightly parted and as she fell forward, she could feel his breath, warm and gentle, tickle her skin.

Her body landed, in near slow-motion against Neji's. She was jerked forward by the abrupt end, her head flinging forward. In single mistimed movement, she felt her lips brush softly against his parted mouth. Then her momentum threw her backwards.

And she would have hit the ground if it weren't for the grip that he had on her wrists.

And she would have pulled away if it weren't for the surprised look in his eyes.

And there was no anger or disgust.

And for the first time in her life Tenten saw Neji vulnerable.

And she was leaning forward again, her lips inches from his.

And he wasn't objecting, just drawing her nearer, his head at a tilt.

And she was breathless.

And he was intense.

"….Am I interrupting something."

Tenten leapt away from Neji, the heat rising to her face. Neji was scrambling to his feet, his arm bracing against the tree.

A glance at his face showed Tenten a faint rosy tint.

"Uh, no Iruka-sensei." She muttered, her eyes still focused on the grass below her.

Neji nodded, "What is it that you came here for?" His tone was not impolite, if maybe a little on edge.

Iruka looked uncomfortable, a downcast expression on his face, "I'd hoped you two already knew…I know the Hokage's trying to keep it under wraps but…"

"What is it?"

"There was an accident a couple of day ago." Iruka paused for a moment, looking Neji in the eyes. "Two Jonin were struck by lightning and badly injured."

Tenten smothered a gasp, her eyes wide. "Oh my word, are they okay?"

Iruka looked down, "They're….. badly injured."

Tenten was biting her lip, looking worried.

Ignoring Tenten's unease, Iruka looked straight at Neji, his gaze intense, "He was critical last I checked."

Neji's eyes widened, "…Iruka…" He said softly, "…Gai-sensei…?"

Iruka nodded.

At the unexpected confirmation, Tenten let out a soft cry, her knees giving way.

Neji was at her side in an instant, having caught her for the second time in that day.

Holding his teammate around the shoulders, he turned his gaze back to Iruka, "Who was the other."

The Jonin hesitated.

"I'll keep it in confidence."

Iruka nodded, "It was…Kakashi-sensei."

Neji shut his eyes for a brief second, giving a curt nod.

"We'll be at the hospital if you need us." He said softly, his voice barely a whisper.

"Alright." Turning to leave, Iruka gave one last glance at the two; Tenten clutching Neji's shirt, her head buried in his chest, and Neji himself, one hand pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes tightly shut.

"I'm sorry….." He whispered.

Then he was gone.

***0***

Sakura stared at the blond boy in front of her. He was kneeling by their sensei's bed, forehead pressed to the sheets.

She suppressed a sigh.

"Naruto…."

He didn't look up, "Naruto, I'm going for a walk…"

Still nothing.

"Tell me if- when Sensei wakes up…"

When several moments passed without so much as an acknowledgement, Sakura turned to the exit.

Casting one desperate glance at Kakashi's battered form, she walked out through the door.

Out in the hall, Sakura considered her options. She couldn't go home, not now. Food seemed anything but appealing so the cafeteria was definitely out.

She glanced at the door, remembering Naruto's depressive state, the way he stayed at Kakashi's side constantly.

Her mind flashed to Lee.

If Ten-Ten and Neji didn't know yet…that would mean he would be completely alone…

Without any more hesitation, she set off down the corridor to the main office, hoping that someone could tell her which room they were in.

***0***

"What…what is that….for…?" Lee detested the way his voice had come out, it sounded weak and scared, like a small child seeking reassurance.

"…He's paralyzed …" The nurse said. Her face was blank as she recited the standard information, of how this was easier for the patient to use the bathroom in, figuratively speaking, until further, more permanent measures could be put into place. How many people had it when they were in a coma as well. How these were easier than a bag for a recovering patient.

She didn't even register the horror stricken expression that was growing on Lee's face with every word she spoke.

She didn't realize how her words were taunting him, mocking him.

She didn't realize that each word was like a kunai being driven through his heart again and again.

She realized nothing until his hoarse, "I…I, I have to go…."

Only then did she notice his stricken expression while looking at the sleeping face of his Sensei. Then at the door.

She saw the hurt, the conflicting of choices, she saw the broken hearted look in his eyes.

"I'm sorry …Gai-sensei…I…I can't keep my… my promise."

And then he ran.

Lee's vision was blurring as he ran. He felt his shoulder slam into another person. He paused, "Sorry, I'm sorry, I…."

Shaking his head, he tried to move forward but stopped when he felt the gentle hand gripping his arm.

"Lee-san?"

Sakura's gentle voice filled his ears, "What's wrong ?"

This had happened already…

"_Sakura-chan?" He urged, a gentle tone to his voice, "What's wrong?"_

_She sniffed._

"_Sakura-chan….we should get to shelter, It will be safer…"_

_At that statement Sakura let out a soft wail and threw her arms around her comrade's neck._

"_What-"_

"_There was an accident…" He cried, her emerald eyes shining with tears. Lee reached forward and wiped away the ones still shining on her cheeks with a soft brush of his hand._

"_What happened?" he murmured._

"_They….they were hurt bad lee… Naruto-kun and I found them…. They…oh god…Kakashi-sensei, Gai-sensei…they…"_

"…I….I'm…Sorry Sakura…"

With that, he wrenched his arm out of her grasp and sprinted down the hall. Running away from the suffocating despair that threatened to crush him.

Away from the building.

Away from Gai-sensei.

Away from his guilt.

Away from the self loathing that consumed him.

Away from everything.

He didn't even hear Sakura's shouts down the hall.

***0***

In the blue we were snow geese flying.

These white fathered snow geese. We were flying with a flock of other geese. In the V formation we were flying and our long necks were sticking way out and out eyes were narrow slits on out white faces.

And our wings.

Our wings were pumping in the air. Pumping and riding the wind. A thousand feet above the lightning. We were pumping the air hard to save our lives.

It was a time of forgetting.

In my blue it was a long time and I wished it would never end.

You sleep.

You dream but you don't remember.

You don't remember anything.

Like when you flip through a million channels on mute and you never remember a single one once you finished. And then you go and click through them all again.

Or not. And you kick the remote away.

All the ages I've been- but in the blue you can choose. I was four years old and my hair was a silvery white, not the darkened colour it is now. And mommy would read to me at night after my bath and daddy too when he came home from missions. A heavy weight at the edge of my bed.

But daddy had to be in the mood, my mommy warned.

There was nothing that I did wrong or bad.

There was nothing I did then that was evil.

There was nothing that I could do to hurt another person.

…_what do you remember? Can you tell us what happened?  
><em>

_Before the accident?_

_Kakashi-sensei?_

Behind my shut eyes the sharp cries of the geese filled my mind.

Where were they going?

It was almost dark now and the glaring red eye of the sun was shutting.

I wanted to fly with the,. So bad I wanted to fly with the geese but I could not get my arms free. I was tightly bandaged.

_Try not to fall asleep…_

_Can you see me Kakashi-san?_

_Blink your eyes if you can hear us…. If you can hear us…_

One of those voices was a woman's voice…I thought I recognized it…

I hated it.

I wanted to scream

.

That was not one of the voices I wanted.

The wind was so strong rushing at me. I could not catch my breath. I was struggling, kicking.

The other geese were flying away from me, no matter how hard I tried to keep up with them.

They were far away, with every beat of my wings they were becoming smaller.

They were leaving me behind. They had forgotten me.

Wait for me! Wait! I cried but they did not hear.

I began to realize that I'd been wrong. I had not been loved.

The images of my family and friends began to fade.

Even in the blue I had not been loved.

I would never catch up with them now.

I heard cautious voices, _Kakashi-sensei?_

I wanted to laugh at the title that I didn't deserve.

Hands were touching me. Far away on the edge of my skin.

Hands were gripping me, I hated it. I went very still so that they would think there was nobody there.

_Don't remember. No need to remember. They cant make me remember._

I needle was jabbed into my arm. It stung. Needles had medicine. To save you.

I nearly laughed out loud.

_Who cares about Kakashi? Let him die. He's responsible for it. For everything. Let him die._

The blue was fading along with those voices. And everything turned black.

***0***

The grass felt soft between Lee's fingers. He stared off the ledge of land on which he sat and over the hidden leaf village. Not many lights remained on but the sliver of moon now peaking from behind the cloud gave enough light.

He should have gone back already. He'd been gone since the afternoon. Gai-sensei would have woken up and…

Lee sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair.

"_But I'll be there." His grip tightened, "I promise."_

How was it that he wasn't keeping this promise?

How many people was he going to let down? Fist Gai-sensei the…

"_Lee-san?"_

_Sakura's gentle voice filled his ears, "What's wrong ?"_

"…_I….I'm…Sorry Sakura…"_

_With that, he wrenched his arm out of her grasp and sprinted down the hall._

And now he had failed Sakura-chan as well. One of the few people who even pretended to care and he had let her down as well.

With a frustrated grunt, the young ninja slammed his fist into the ground.

"Damn it!" He cursed, tears springing to his eyes.

Forcing himself to his feet, he staggered over to the nearest tree. Pulling back his hand, he slammed his fist into it. And again.

He pounded his hands into the tree repeatedly, not noticing the tears and rips in his flesh. Not noticing that his hands were bleeding rivulets down his bandaged wrists.

Not noticing the tears that streamed down his cheeks.

Not noticing the footsteps.

Not noticing the shout.

Not until he felt the arms wrapped around his chest, pinning his arms to his side.

Until he heard the muffled sobs and shouts of 'stop' into the space between his shoulder blades

"Lee…"

At the sound of his name, all the rage and adrenaline fueled strength drained out of him.

Sakura held tightly onto him, keeping her grip even when he slid to the ground, his legs unable to support his weight any longer.

He opened his mouth, to apologize, to thank her… nothing came out.

From behind him, Sakura slip her hands down his form, coming to rest on his damaged hands.

She held them firmly and gently, a soft light glowing from her hands

A relief began to build through the fresh sting on his knuckles and he simply stared in awe as she worked to fix the major damage. When her hands left, his knuckles were scabbed over and the pain he usually felt after training was no more.

"I'm still learning…" She muttered into his ear, "but this should help."

"I….." the words stuck in Lee's throat as he realized just how close the girl was to him. A flush rose to his face as she pressed herself closer to his back, her hands wrapping themselves around his chest. Instinctively, his own hand went up to grip hers.

Her head was on his shoulder, "Lee-san….please…please do not do that again." Her voice was soft and pleading in his ear, making his heart clench.

"Promise me…"

"I…I can't do that Sakura…" He held her hand tighter, "Not when I break every one I make…Not when I let the people I care about down."

She was silent.

"Then…" She finally whispered, "Lee…. Talk to me first. I care about you… I don't want to loose anyone else, I don't want anyone else to get hurt."

A sob was torn from her throat, "Please Lee… Promise me that…"

"I promise." He whispered.

And she gripped him tighter, holding him long into the night.

***0***

Naruto's eyes were shut as he leaned against the back of his chair. Beside him Kakashi lay asleep in the bed.

The soft breathing of his sensei did nothing to sooth the young ninja.

Naruto only looked up at the sound of Tsunade's footsteps entering the room.

She was smiling- which Naruto deduced was a good thing.

"I have good news Naruto." A clipboard hung limply at her side, "Kakashi is out of his coma."

Naruto felt a small smile slide onto his face at the news.

He nodded, "Thank you."

The hokage looked at the blond in front of her. The smile had died on his face, the corpse left behind forming a deep frown.

"Naruto?"

He said nothing.

"What's wrong? Did something happen when I was of duty?"

Naruto shook his head.

Tsunade balled her hands into fists, resisting the urge to force the boy to tell her.

She had to remind herself that he was going though a difficult time.

"Naruto." Her voice came out harder this time, a biting hint of frost at the edges.

She saw Naruto swallow hard before turning his gaze to her.

"It's nothing…."

At that, Naruto lowered his gaze, focusing it on the sleeping form of his sensei.

His eyes had dullness in them.

Realization hit Tsunade in a full on tackle.

"Naruto…. He was disorientated last time…he lashed out."

At her words, Naruto's hand absently found his arm, rubbing the bruising flesh.

"You were there." Her eyes softened, "He should be calmer when he wakes up."

Naruto nodded. "I understand …Tsunade-sama."

"…Alright Naruto."

Squaring her shoulders, the Hokage ignored the ach in her heart at the blonde's formality. His passive response.

His dismissal.

And even through she was Hokage and had the right to stay as she pleased, she turned to the door.

Without so much as a goodbye, she left the room.

Naruto barely registered the difference.

His eyes were fixed on his sensei; the contrast between his silvery hair and the bed sheets was barely visible. And his exposed skin seemed waken in the light.

Fabric covered his face until his eyes.

The though of finally seeing his sensei's face didn't even register in Naruto's mind.

He ran his hand over the leather restraint currently securing Kakashi's wrist.

Naruto stared with a dull fascination at the contrast between the darkened leather and Kakashi's skin.

He'd never realized how fragile his sensei could be.

His hand was curled limply- lost among the waves of linen- the absence of gloves heightening the reality of the scene.

Kakashi was not immortal.

He could die.

And Naruto wouldn't be able to do a thing in the future.

With a sigh, Naruto leaned back, letting his head hit the wall with a thud.

Naruto's eyes were shut as he leaned against the back of his chair. Beside him Kakashi lay asleep in the bed.

The soft breathing of his sensei did nothing to sooth the young ninja.

His eyes stayed shut.

***0***

The first thing that Lee became aware of was the light.

The kind of light which finds its way in everywhere, working its way underneath one's eyelids and warmed you all over.

He turned his head, burying it into the softness beneath him.

Ah-that did the trick.

A few moments, content in the blissful lull before truly waking up.

It was then Lee remembered the events of the night before.

And his eyes shot open.

Ignoring the sun's blinding rays, he turned his eyes on his surrounding, taking in the trees, the dew beaded grass. The sun rising above Konoha.

Then he felt the warm weight in his arms and the dull ach in his back.

If the bark being driven into his back was any indication, he was pressed against the tree.

And the weight in his arms was a girl. A girl with a mass of short pink hair, clad in an outfit predominantly red.

She looked peaceful. Lee mused, staring down at her.

The early rays of sunlight filtered through her hair giving her a radiant look. Her headband had slipped around her neck and her arms were tightly wrapped around his waist.

Lee expected to feel flush at the sigh of her and the feeling of her so close against him.

Instead he smiled a soft smile that barely graced his features. He ran a hand though her silky locks, "Thank you Sakura-chan…"

At his words, Sakura stirred, slowly opening her eyes.

She blinked a few times, staring up at Lee.

She smiled, "Morning."

"Good morning."

She released her grip on his waist, her body arching in a yawn.

"Mmm….what happened last night…?" She murmured.

"You stopped me from…venting too much against the tree. You fell asleep after that so…"

"Oh yeah." She smiled, forcing herself to her feet. "Common then, we should be getting back."

She extended her hand in order to help him up.

Lee hesitated; _he was capable by himself_…

"Hurry up!" Sakura was smiling.

With a smile of his own, he nodded.

And took her hand.

***0***

One step at a time, Tenten made her way to the Hospital.

She'd gotten a good nights sleep- she told herself. She hadn't stayed up all night worrying about her teacher and her teammate... She hadn't spent the whole night crying. Of course not.

No, she'd gotten all the sleep she needed.

_Another step._

She'd had a good supper and a good breakfast. She hadn't ended up throwing it in the trash because she couldn't stomach it. She hadn't spent a good ten minutes in the bathroom worshiping the toilet.

_Another step._

She'd washed- quickly and efficiently. She hadn't collapsed on the shower floor, sobbing her heart out.

_Another step._

Yes, she was strong.

That was the same reason that her eyes _weren't_ red rimmed, that she looked perfectly happy.

She _wasn't_ hiding her head from passers by.

Her hair _wasn't_ in a dishrivled state.

There were lots of things that _didn't_ happen- a lot of things that she _wasn't_.

A good liar wasn't one of them.

But if she couldn't lie to herself, then that would make it real.

_Another step._

That was the same reason that she _wasn't_ going to the hospital to see her sensei. She was going to inquire about something with the Hokage who was on duty.

_Another step._

A second set of footsteps mingled with hers.

She turned her head. Beside her, Neji looked straight ahead, not even glancing in her direction.

_Another step._

"Going to see the Hokage too?" His voice was soft.

"Yes."

He nodded.

_Another step._

***0***

The first thing that came to his mind was, _Ow, kami, what the hell hit me?_

His second was that he was glad he wasn't a writer- he lacked the needed eloquence.

The next was that that he must be really out of it for this train of thought to be taking place.

_Open your eyes- that may be a good place to start. You know, just maybe._

Kakashi squeezed his eyes closed tighter, ignoring his subconscious. He felt the soft sheets beneath his body and the antiseptic smell of cleaning products reached his nose. He nearly choked.

Great. Of all the things that he hated most in the world- waking up in a hospital was near the top of his list.

_Usually, the best thing to do is figure out what happened…_

Taking a deep breath, Kakashi focused on his subconscious's suggestion. It situations like these, it usually worked best.

He focused.

He was still.

Calm.

With no warning, Images bombarded his mind with the force of a bulldozer, pummeling straight into him.

_Loud._

_Screaming._

_Bright._

_Beside him, he heard a choking cry. The kind of sound that mingled into a sob._

_The smell of burning flesh reached his nostrils._

_He couldn't tell if it was his or…his comrade's._

_He didn't know who had been with him._

_He didn't know if they were still alive. If he was still alive._

_He didn't know._

_Oh god._

_No movement._

_He knew he should be doing something other than staying collapsed on the floor. He knew he should be helping his comrade, not gripping onto his body like a lost child._

_He knew he should do a lot of things._

_He knew he shouldn't forget._

_He knew he shouldn't give into the darkness._

_He did._

Kakashi's eyes flew open. His body jerked upwards but his back was forced to arch and he was slammed down into the soft linen. He was breathing hard, his breath coming in short, rough gasps.

The suffocating fear which engulfed him in the blackness, in the memory, was still fresh in the mans mind. He could barely move, something was covering him, surrounding him. The air was thick.

Suffocating.

_Loud._

"Kakashi-sensei!"

_Screaming._

"It's okay…just calm down."

_Bright…_

"Calm down…"

He knew that voice….he could trust it….

_No movement…._

He jerked violently at the image.

"…It's okay, relax….it's okay…"

Kakashi felt his breath leave him in a quiet rush.

His hands were fisted in the blankets, his knuckles white.

His breathing gradually slowed.

He felt a dull pain in his wrists yet couldn't remember what had happened.

Everything felt wrong.

Opening his eyes, he squinted past the florescent lights. A boy was leaning over him. His blond hair up in spikes.

"Kakashi-sensei…?"

He swallowed hard, trying to alleviate the feeling of sandpaper sliding down his throat.

"…Naruto…"

The boy leaned a little closer, straining to hear the whispered request.

"…..Naruto…water….."

He swallowed again.

"Huh….. Oh. Yes Sensei!"

Kakashi kept his eyes shut.

He heard Naruto's footsteps approaching, and heard when he stopped.

After an eternity of seconds, he opened his eyes.

Naruto was looking uncomfortable.

'Uh…."

He was staring at the linen covering Kakashi's face- which had miraculously remained in place despite his earlier struggling.

Kakashi nodded slightly. His limbs felt like lead. At that point, it did not matter whether Naruto saw his face, He was part of his team and Kakashi needed water.

Naruto knelt down, reaching out hesitantly.

This was big.

Naruto did his best not to gawk as he uncovered his sensei's face. He instinctively snaked his arm around Kakashi's shoulders, supporting him into a vaguely upright position.

He lifted the cup to Kakashi's lips and watched him as he drunk. He could tell that Kakashi was trying to control his thirst but it didn't seem to be succeeding.

Somewhere in the back of his mind Sakura's voice reminded him that no one should be drinking so much water at once after being unconscious for long.

He drew the cut away from Kakashi's lips.

Kakashi let out a sound akin to a disappointed whimper.

That's how Naruto would have described it- only Kakashi-sensei didn't whimper.

He stared at his sensei's face. His eyes were closed and hair hung in his face.

And Naruto was struck by the sudden realization.

He looked young.

Not as young as him, but not that much older that Iruka.

He was surprised.

Kakashi always acted so… mature even when acting immature. He seemed so experienced.

The sound of his sensei's voice brought him out of his musings.

"…Naruto…" His voice was stronger now.

Naruto blinked.

He glanced at the cup in his hand before the realization clicked.

He raised the cup to Kakashi's lips.

The Jonin nodded his gratitude.

This continued until Kakashi had had enough to drink. Naruto returned to the seat as his sensei slumped back against the sheets.

Naruto's eyes were shut as he leaned against the back of his chair. Beside him Kakashi lay asleep in the bed.

The soft breathing of his sensei did everything to sooth the young ninja.

Naruto smiled.

***0***

The air in the room was thick with tension.

No one moved, and no one seemed to breathe.

The only sound in the room was the Hokage's voice. As she spoke the tension grew at the news. News delivered with a grim tone- new of hope. It was disconcerting to the rooms occupants.

Tsunade's face was blank as she recited the procedure information to team Gai. How, she'd discovered the damage with Gai's spinal cord, which was the problem. How she knew of a procedure to correct it. How she can do it the next day. How there was only a 27 % chance that he would survive it.

The last piece of information had even Neji's eyes widening in shock.

Tenten leaned back in her chair, a worried expression on her face.

Lee had opened his mouth, evidently to speak, but had shut it again, instead turning his eyes to his bed-ridden sensei.

Gai's face was unreadable.

Blank.

Everyone was silent.

Everyone looking at him.

He nodded.

"….Gai-sensei….are you sure?" Tenten's voice was soft and timid yet Gai could hear the pity lacing her words.

_Pity._

His jaw clenched.

"I am sure."

The hokage nodded. "It is ultimately your decision. I can only advise you of the danger."

"I understand.'

Another nod and Tsunade left the room.

After she left, the silence seemed thicker than ever, the tension building.

Lee's eyes shifted to Neji. His eyes narrowed challengingly as he met the other boy's. Daring him to pull the same stunt he had the last time. When it was Lee's future on the line.

Neji simply looked away.

Tenten shifted.

No one spoke.

After an eternity of tense moments, Neji finally stood.

He glanced at Tenten and Lee. Tenten nodded and got up as well.

Lee offered a small smile but shook his head. His eyes met Neji's – _No he would rather stay with his sensei._

Neji nodded and for a second, Lee thought he saw a smile on his comrade's face. But them it was gone, too fast to be sure.

Neji turned and bowed to his sensei. Then he turned again and left. Without a single word. Lee would have thought that he didn't trust his voice to hold out against his emotions. He also would have said he saw a gleam of wet leak from his team mate's too-bright eyes.

But he was Neji. And Neji didn't do that.

Tenten followed him seconds later, her hand brushed Gai's on her way past, "We'll come visit you tomorrow…"

And just like that they were gone.

And just like that, the beginning four occupants of the room were narrowed down to two.

Lee left the tension ease out of his shoulders.

He sat at the edge of Gai's bed.

Looking up, his dark gaze met that of his sensei.

After a moment, Gai spoke. His voice was soft, barely a whisper, "Lee…. You know that…."

"I know. You need to do this."

Gai nodded and Lee took his hand on impulse.

He knew Gai had to do this.

He knew there was no way he cold keep living without the use of his body.

But he also knew Gai was scared.

He knew he would never admit it.

And he knew that he never wanted to know what it felt like to loose the closest thing to a parent he had.

He didn't know how to put this into words.

So he tightened his grip on Gai's hand.

And he saw that he was understood.

***0***

Lee looked on helplessly as Gai's eyes fluttered open.

The man was smirking down at Gai, malicious intent clear on his face.

"Kisame…." Gai's voice was a whisper, and Lee barely caught it.

His sensei's eyes were narrowed with dislike, no something stronger, hate. His mouth was set in straight line, lips pressed tightly together with what seemed to be barely suppressed fury.

Kisame was still smirking, "Gai…" He said, sounding amused, "Please, don't get up…."

Gai's eyes became chips of hard ice, boring into that of the Akatsuki member.

"What the hell do you want?"

Kisame glanced at his wrist, "Love to discuss this Gai…but…"

He turned to where lee was held captive and Gai's eyes instinctively followed.

In that instant, Lee saw his sensei's eyes change from rage to a deepest terror in mere seconds. His eyes met Lee's in earnest.

"Kisame…..what. Do. You. Want?"

Gai eyes flickered back and forth from Lee to Kisame.

"If I told you I'd have to kill you." Kisame's smile was too wide and Lee suppressed a shudder.

"I'd much rather have you suffer…" He continued, "I'm nice like that."

Helplessness was evident in Gai's eyes as he met those of his student once again.

Bile rose in Lee throat at the thought of Kisame's cruelty. Fueled on, Lee resumed his struggling, valiantly ignoring the water slithering down his throat.

Ignoring the tightness around his throat.

Ignoring Gai's shouts.

Ignoring Kisame's laughter.

Ignoring the feeling of movement as he was dragged out of the building.

Ignoring everything until there was nothing to ignore.

It all went black.

***0***

_"I know it hurts, Gai. Like you want to tear your heart out just to stop the pain." Kakashi's hand twitched, as if he wanted to reach out, and a few moments later he let it come to rest on Gai's shoulder._

_"...That's what it is, you know. It's...the surest…only real way to tell." He looked away, taking a breath that for an instant dropped every one of his guards; loneliness and pain and tiredness so great showed through. His shoulders sagged and his eyes closed. After a moment, he turned toward Gai again, one visible eye looking right through him, measuring him up from the inside "...Love is watching someone die. Watching them fall. Watching them leave…Be taken…"_

_Kakashi wrapped him in a tight embrace and an echo of thought moved through Gai's mind – _He's experienced this before…

_Silver hair tickles Gai's cheek and then the memory fades away_.

Over.

But Kakashi's still there. A heavy weight on the edge of his bed. A book in hand, legs crossed in a casual pose.

Its a few moments before Gai gets it together enough to speak, "…Kakashi."

His companion turns his head, "Hmm?"

Gai swallows hard, "How do I know him?"

In that instant, all pretences drop off the copy ninja, his shoulders are straight, his jaw set.

"Who?" Kakashi's voice is still light though, and Gai recognizes it as Kakashi's way of testing the waters.

He jumps right into the pool.

"Kisame."

Kakashi lets out a sigh and turned to face Gai in earnest.

"I know him… I hate him… but I have no idea why…"

Kakashi's hand goes up, pinching the bridge of his nose. His visible eye is shut.

"We fought him… years ago."

Gai's brows furrow in puzzlement, "Wouldn't I have remembered that?"

Kakashi appears to not have heard him, "It was him and Itachi, verses a group of us Jonin…Asuma was there too…. We were loosing. We'd arrived in stages you see, me being first. It was looking pretty bad, but you chose that moment to show up…"

Gai's mouth twitches at the corners.

"Anyway, Kisame didn't think you'd be able to so much damage so he dropped his guard. You did quite a number on him…"

Kakashi adjusts his headband idly.

"We didn't defeat them, but we managed to get enough of a foothold for them to leave. They were just stalling for time anyway."

Kakashi clears his throat, "When we set up camp that night, we were attacked. Kisame apparently didn't like the fact that he was beaten by you."

Gai grimaces slightly at the implications.

"As you've probably guessed, he managed to take you prisoner as well as wash away most of our supplies. In the end it took us half a day to finally find you…"

Kakashi meets Gai's gaze, "You were in….pretty bad shape, completely out of it too…awake but… half delusional…"

Kakashi sighs and rubs the heal of his hand into his eye.

"Later, on the way back…. You came to your senses long enough to ask me…."

Kakashi pulls back his headband, revealing the sharagin, "…Ask me to make you forget… everything from the time of the fight."

Gai eyes widen and he seems almost speechless. He swallows hard, "…Kakashi….what….did I say what…."

Kakashi nods, "You told me everything…and when I heard…"

He shrugs.

"You know…"

"… Kakashi… I need to know."

Kakashi looks down, "You don't want to know Gai…. You…. You had good reason for wanting to forget."

He looks up, giving Gai a hard, long look, "And it still leaves emotional…scars…even after you forget."

Gai shuts his eyes briefly, "Then…I definitely need to know Kakashi."

Kakashi hesitates.

"Please…"

Kakashi gives a resigned shrug, his hand coming to rest on Gai's shoulder, "They're your memories."

And then Gai's world goes red, Lost in the power of the Sharagin.

* * *

><p><strong>Some scenes from this had paragraphs heavily borrowed from fics I'd read, and cannot remember. Half the scenes, I cannot remember which were altered, so tell me if you see anything, or have a problem. Thank you.<strong>


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